I Pretended

I pretend it doesn't hurt
I pretend it  doesn't matter
but inside it it hurts
inside it matters

I see it and say nothing
I see it and bite my tongue
I don't say a word

Are they better
Are they prettier
Do I stand a chance
So many questions run through my head

I hate them
I hate myself
I love you but i don't understand

She said it
She told you
She knew

It hurts
It kills
I hate it but nothing I can do

It's your life
It's you choose
I don't have the right

I didn't want to
I didn't mean to
I just wanted it to go away

She told you
She hates it too
She knows what it's like
To be second best

It hurts
It kills
To know that you have them

Am I second best
Do I even stand a chance

I pretended  it didn't hurt
I pretended it didn't matter
But it dose

I pretended and now I don't know where I stand with you